Sex Columnist Leaves UAlbany Students Blushing

 ” I like to think of this as having a drunk converstaion with my friends at  a bar about our sex lives”, said Dan Savage, famous sex columnist,  at  the University at Albany last Tuesday night.  By 9p.m., Februrary 10th, the campus center ballroom was packed with UAlbany students and faculty to hear the very funnny Mr. Savage speak about everything from relationships to how to make your boyfriend have an erection.  

The very openly gay  guest speaker was one of the events being held in honor of “Sexuality Week” at the University, run by a student organization called Middle Earth.  Carol Stenger, the Coordinator of Health Promotion and an attendee of Savage’s talk said, ” Sexuality week helps the students become aware and educated about different topics in sexual health, while also having fun.” 

Savage’s “talk” was certainly fun but also  interesting, informative and even outrageous. 

 “I’m just going to answer your questions..this is your agenda”, said Savage. He answered the anonymous questions that the audience had written on blank index cards before the talk.  With calm and wit  he went through the cards one by one reading aloud whatever was in store. 

 One of the first questions was, ” Can your vagina get loose?” Savage responsed:  ” Well, when that happens you can always just roll over!” The crowd gasped with shock and erupted in laughter not only at this response but almost every one he came up with.

One girl in the audience turned to her friend and whispered, ” I love him already!”

Savage is known for his sex column, ” Savage Love”, that first appeared in 1991 in The Stranger, an alternative weekly paper.  His column gives advice to readers of any sexual preference.  He is also an author of: Skipping Towards Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins And The Pursuit Of Happiness In America, Savage Love: Straight Answers from America’s Most Popular Sex Columnist, and The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant. 

Savage isn’t all laughs all the time–he finds himself amidst controversy often due to his clash with conservatives. 

 One question from the audience asked about Savage’s opinion of race and homophobia.  Savage was quite passionate in his response, stating, “Race has a lot to do with it and African American homophobia is a problem.  Also, seven percent of gays that voted for McCain had to be racist, because there’s no other reason they could have wanted him for President.” 

Savage gave advice about both sex and relationships.  He said, “We want to apply a standard that sex should be risk free for it to be OK meanwhile we don’t apply that to anything else like skiing, eating sushi, or jumping out of a plane….it’s all a risk!”

He continued,  ” In a relationship you should be the 3 G’s..good, giving and game.”   

 “ Being good to your boyfriend or  girlfriend means sometimes you do things you don’t want to so the other person is happy..don’t listen to people who tell you you should never do anything you don’t want to. ”

One person asked a seemingly typical question for a sex columnist: ” How do I meet someone to form a relationship with if I don’t like bars?” Savage’s response to that:  ” Bars are full of people who don’t like bars…If you want to meet someone, go to the f*ing bar.”  He paused, and then continued,”You don’t like bars? Tough sh*t. Go to the bar.”

One guy in the audience, John Giarizzo,21, a UAlbany senior said, ” I’m here because my friend in Middle Earth told me  to come. This guy’s really funny but I was uncomfortable when he was talking about blow jobs, I’m not gonna lie.”

Giarizzo might be referring  to when Savage demonstrated with hand motions how to give oral sex to a man.  Savage joked, ” See, this is the gross stuff you guys ask about, I just wanna talk about politics!”

From raunchy topics to semi-serious ones, Savage answered one question that stood out from the others. Someone asked if his son experienced hardships growing up with two  gay dads. 

Savage replied,  ” Not once has anyone said anything to him about our relationship.” 

” We know we’ve encountered people that disapprove yet they’ve put up with it. That’s tolerance. It means you put up with things you don’t agree with.”

An important point to  take from listening to Savage speak is that sex is your choice to be open about.  Savage said, ” When and where you choose to share your sexuality is a gift.”  

 Savage’s extremely well-spoken while humorous  “talk” certainly left the audience smiling.

Selena Papaconstantinou,19, a UAlbany Sophomore stated, ” I came because I had to for class so I didn’t know what to expect. He was so funny–like Dane Cook status.”

One of Savage’s closing pieces of advice for the audience to ponder:  ” Sex is possible even when there isn’t a hard penis in the room.”

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